Dating Depot

Via Gothamist - Apparently Home Depot is the new place for singles (which I very gladly am not!) to meet. The secret is that everyone at Home Depot is wandering around in a catatonic stupour trying to figure out where stuff is in the byzantine Home Depot taxonomy. Excellent news for singles but what about me? I'm just looking for stuff! Don't even think about asking the staff - for the most part (if you can in fact corner someone) they won't know. Home Depot - please do one or more of the following:

• Post a frickin' map of the building with the categories where everything is - not just broad categories like Paint either.
• Make it so I can look up where items are online before I go and at the store. If you really cared you'd have online forums with common problems and a way to ask questions so I don't have to constantly go back to the store.
• Make the parking lot spaces bigger - since 90% of the people who drive to Home Depot 1) have enourmous Pickups / SUV and 2) could not park straight if their lives depended on it, they just end up parking across several spaces anyway. And for the love of god, clean your parking lots every once in a while. Yes, it's your customers dumping trash but it's your parking lot
• In California, EVERY Home Depot has a line of day labour waiting out front. Home Depot enforces people soliciting for work on their parking lots so where do they go? The sidewalk out front. Since this problem clearly isn't going away - you should just have a designated area of the store / parking lot for people looking for work. You could even give them coffee / water and some shade. I don't hire day labourers but apparently a lot of your customers do or they wouldn't be there